Friday, August 6, 2010

Things that just aren’t cute (Part I): Grown-ass men dudes acting like underage frat boys…

*Idris Elba is fine...but would not be nearly as fine stumbling around like a San Diego State freshman...not like he would, or anything. Right, Idris?

A buddy of mine is currently living it up in Vegas for a few days and this morning I got a 9am text telling me that he had yet to go to bed and how hard he goes in the “mutha f*ckin paint,” among other things…SMH. Dude is 33. This is so uncute…

While I get that everyone at every age needs to let loose and get wild from time to time, this shouldn’t be an excuse to regress back to the nonsense of freshman days past. You might have been cool back then, but fellas…that look no longer fits – kinda like that post-college interview suit. Goodwill it and get something new, like age appropriate behavior.

This doesn’t mean you need to walk around with a stick up your a** as the icon of absolute maturity, but it does mean leaving the juvenile shenanigans to the juveniles.

Most goings-on are fair game, but how about we avoid these:

1. Public drunkenness

So you’re grown, you have a job, you have a mortgage, you handle your business – why are you trying to hard to look like you don’t? Huh?

2. Macking (or worse) on women that either appear too young for you or who are trying to appear too young for you…

Either way, this is problematic.

3. Nostalgically clinging to the “good ol’ days,” of which you hardly remember.

Word: If your early 20s were the best years of your life, maybe you should evaluate your life. Partying hard and living it up is a fun way to bide your time as you are working to get your ish together…so that you can actually live it up. If, at 28-33, you already looking to the past and not the future, well, you have some pondering to do…

4. Bragging about how hard you can party…

Dude – you are almost middle aged. No one in your age cohort is impressed by that anymore and…no one cares.

What am I missing?


  1. So glad I'm only 24 and can still go hard in the paint with the age-appropriate and technologically-advanced braggadocio of a blogger turned Tweeter.

  2. how could you possibly forget the grown man griping about not being able to find a decent woman....and when he finally gets her...he messes it all up acting like a 20 something? if you want a mature relationship then you need to put in the work of a mature man. and just cause a man is "grown" does not mean a woman should automatically get physical.

    ugh...i cant stand when a man says the woman is playing games and hes two grown for that cause she won't give it up by the third date! seriously...maybe we are reading the wrong dictionary...cause last i checked age does not = easy sex....nor does kissing give you the green light for smh thinking about it...

    maybe this should be topic of discussion for part II of things that aren't cute?

  3. I think it's good to have a combination of both: maturity and a youthful spirit. If you're 33 and can get wasted in Vegas AND keep more adults things in your life (money, job, goals, etc) going at a steady pace--that's great! And if a nice, tender PYT comes calling...shit! Why not? But that's just me. I don't subscribe to age and race "norms" or "requirements." Doing what makes me happy seems to work out fine:)

  4. Yep, Sabrina...I'm on board. Part II: Men who think having a job should get them easy a**...

    No buddy...

  5. @dewan...there is a fine line..ok to let lose every once in a while, life isnt fun without it...but if you try to make it the norm, then there is some serious evaluation that needs to be happening.

  6. @Dewan

    I'm not one for norms either (heaven knows) but there is something to be said for a man that's moved on...Because frankly as woman dating/dealing in this age group, I do not want to have to deal with this silliness...and I shouldn't have to.