Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Things that just aren't cute (Part III): Silly Women

*A silly woman might be seen wearing a shirt like this, but beware...it's usually not this obvious.

Women are socialized to be silly. Mary Wollstonecraft made the case in the 18th century and unfortunately it’s still true. Why? Good question. Maybe because we are still taught that femininity = sugar and spice and everything nice and nothing substantive, and although most women bust through this paradigm, we all occasionally have lapses. ‘Tis true and I’ll own up. However…there exists those women who are consistently and perhaps, hopelessly, silly – through and through. They are it is problematic, particularly to us everyday girls just trying to make it out there. Silly women throw other women under the bus by serving as evidence for sexist folks in their case against women’s autonomy while simultaneously making men the center of their universe. But basically, silly women are a product of a sexist environment – yep, the one we live in. Here’s the MO:

**Note the tense…there is method to the madness. Get it?

***Being equal opportunity and all, also note that silly men inhabit the categories in the first two “things that just aren’t cute” posts…I’m not being a hater

Bending over backwards to please a man that (1) doesn’t really like you and (2) just likes to be bent over backwards for

There is nothing wrong with working towards making the person you’re with happy and comfortable, but pulling out all the stops for someone that isn’t at all invested in you is just sad. Don’t do it. One can argue all day and night that women are no longer socialized to please men, but the argument crumbles next to fact that you just heard (from a silly girl friend or an opportunist douchebag guy friend) about some girl going above and beyond the call of duty to make a guy that doesn’t even like her feel all warm and fuzzy. While you don’t need to go throwing “bitch” at everything in pants, how about saving the “extra” for a guy that’s into you enough to appreciate it? Do it for you and do it for the rest of the women out there who have to deal with the spoiled, entitled jackasses that silly women have help spawn.

That’s right…no more fried chicken, back rubs, rides to work, and you know what else for dudes that don’t even have enough interest in (or respect for) you to take you out on a date.

Chasing after or allowing oneself to be chased by a taken man

I was going to write “unavailable” men, but men can be unavailable for many reasons – some of which are subtle enough to get the best of us. But some aren’t so subtle…like wives and fianc├ęs and girlfriends. Word. Whether a woman is predator or prey to a taken man, just entertaining him as a would-be love interest/sexual partner is enough to move her into the realm of the ‘silly woman.’ Some men stray –
Unfortunately, it’s a given…but that’s never an excuse to act a damn fool and participate in it. By messing with a taken man you’re not only sabotaging your own integrity, but you’re also behaving in a way that violates the frickin GOLDEN RULE! No bueno. Karma is a bitch…and if you choose to dip into someone else’s pot – so are you.

Being mean and otherwise unpleasant to anyone that isn’t a guy you are interested in

Silly women are often unpleasant women not because they are silly, but because unless you’re a man they want to impress, they aren’t so nice. It’s like they have a limited capacity for kindness that they reserve for catching men (who, once caught, will no longer benefit from it). These women are often mean to other women (who they see as they enemy), to men they aren’t attracted to, to their restaurant servers, their coffee baristas...geez, they even kick puppies (but only when cute boys aren’t looking). They are the women that live out their relationships being catty and petty and competitive with other women and who mercilessly shoot down and below the belt when approached by a guy she’d rather not talk to. Silly women don’t understand the value of caring for others (in acts or words or otherwise) if there isn’t something obvious in it for them.

Okay, I’m done venting. Let’s keep it moving….

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