Good Energy & Affirmations

Positive self-affirmations are tough, especially to share. Why? Well, they are cheesy require the admission that you need them and they assert something about one’s self that we are at times unsure if anyone else believes – pretty much, they reveal insecurity. But really, we all have insecurities, which very from person to person but are inevitable. We are a human, we are vulnerable to self-doubt.

CurlyNikki (one of my favorite bloggers out there...natural hair guru and shrink) posted yesterday on affirmation and I thought I’d join in. I’m a space where I need as much good energy as possible…

My Affirmations for Friday, July 2nd, 2010

I am kind and enact goodness and positive energy

I am a loving and patient mother

I am loved by many amazing people

I am in the process of actively realizing my potential...and there's a lot of it

No, Lauryn...Let's not light this fire...

Lauryn Hill says she's coming back, to which I say.."DON'T!"

I lived, breathed, consumed her first (and only) solo album The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill - it saw me through my high school years, which kind of sucked. She was like the wise older sister I never had, mixed in with a dose of some old-womanish sagacity that even my grandmothers were too far removed from to impart. Her lyrics were taped all over my bedroom walls along with pictures of Maxwell and Nick Carter (much to my dad's horror...at the tape, not the words), written in journals and in notes to friends, and at that very ingenuous time in my life, they were powerful...

What you want might make you cry
What you need might pass you by
If you don't catch it,
If you don't catch it,
And what you need ironically
Will turn out what you want to be
If you just let it,

I still go back there sometimes and it's still true...

Truth also is that I need to remember her as the Lauryn in the photo above...Not the carnival-like (and I'm not talking west-Indian here folks, just the good ol'fashioned kind) creature we saw recently. Her and her music have cemented themselves as a meaningful part of a chapter in my life and have become static for lack of replication...which, in this case, is the way it is meant to be.

Please Lauryn, don't crush my soul and "come back" with incoherent silliness. Remain a legend and stay retired...No one cares that you only had one solo album, because it was legendary and we still appreciate it, we do. Stay in the burbs, raise your kids, work with a life coach...just no more music. Do it for you, do it for us.

See what happens when you mess with a lesser Marley...SMH.

On Spilling Your Guts

I am learning that self-revelation can be cathartic. As opposed to keeping all that “stuff” bottled up inside, there is something to be said for spilling your guts – perhaps not always, but sometimes. We don’t because we are afraid of the judgment of others. We are afraid of being revealed and adjudicated by someone who may, in turn, misinterpret us. We are afraid of what someone else might think and in many cases, we should be. Spilling ones guts should always be a selective process, but nevertheless – it is quite possibly a necessary one. Imagine how much simpler life would be if folks could occasionally “debrief” and not have to carry things around indefinitely.

Our pride also gets in the way, as we see it as inherently always already at odds with self-revelation, when in fact, it requires an tremendous possession of self to do it in the first place. You must love and be proud of your guts to spill them – you must value them to reveal them.

Self-revelation is for the self. The person on the receiving end, no matter how much they might deserve them, might not care for you guts…they may just step over them or step on them, but in the end…it is the fact that they are out that matters. Once they are no longer inside, they can hold little power.

Planetary Configuration?

"Today's planetary configuration means that you may feel more emotional today than you have for some time. You will be very aware that you have a great deal of feeling for one person in particular, and although you may have tried to rationalize this away, right now it is just not possible. It would be better to accept this, and perhaps to let them know."

Oh...is that was it is?

Summer Solstice

This last week brought the longest day of the year…the first day of summer. Not necessarily a new beginning, but a settling in of something. Summer is when existing things ripen.

People ripen too (I’m reclaiming the word) as hopefully with age and experience we become a deeper, richer, more satisfying version of ourselves. Given the right environment, nutrients and care, we gracefully transition from a hard, tasteless, unyielding object to something that can be appreciated, enjoyed and even loved.

This summer I turn 26 and I find myself with a lesson to learn, a lesson that will hopefully move me forward and closer the person/partner/parent/friend I am meant to be. It doesn’t feel good and, like the solstice, I know it will last a while, but I know that therein lays great potential for growth and ripening…so I suppose I’ll go with it (and quite frankly, there is nothing else to do but to go with it).

As much as I wish I could spell out this lesson in easy terms and/or create bullet points or timelines, I can’t…it’s messy. It is how I wrestle and work through this experience (ugh, it hurts) that will determine my outcome. It is the working through of competing and conflicting feelings as I try to reconcile my head, my heart, and my gut – and let me tell you, when these three don’t align, it sucks.

I hope that when the time comes when I can look up and realize I’ve made it out of this season, I will have something to show for it. Hopefully when I have made peace with myself, myself will be a better person – a wiser, more thoughtful, more loving, more discerning, more complete one. I hope that I will be a little closer to that riper version of me I am so looking forward to.

Nikki Giovanni's "Resignations" Blows My Mind...

I love you
because the earth turns round the sun
because the North wind blows north
sometimes
because the Pope is Catholic
and most Rabbis Jewish
because winters flow into springs
and the air clears after a storm
because only my love for you
despite the charms of gravity
keeps me from falling off this Earth
into another dimension
I love you
because it is the natural order of things

I love you
like the habit I picked up in college
of sleeping through lectures
or saying I'm sorry
when I get stopped for speeding
because I drink a glass of water
in the morning
and chain-smoke cigarettes
all through the day
because I take my coffee Black
and my milk with chocolate
because you keep my feet warm
though my life a mess
I love you
because I don't want it
any other way.

I am helpless
in my love for you
It makes me so happy
to hear you call my name
I am amazed you can resist
locking me in an echo chamber
where your voice reverberates
through the four walls
sending me into spasmatic ecstasy
I love you
because it's been so good
for so long
that if I didn't love you
I'd have to be born again
and that is not a theological statement
I am pitiful in my love for you

The Dells tell me Love
is so simple
the thought though of you
sends indescribably delicious multitudinous
thrills throughout and through-in my body
I love you
because no two snowflakes are alike
and it is possible
if you stand tippy-toe
to walk between the raindrops
I love you
because I am afraid of the dark
and can't sleep in the light
because I rub my eyes
when I wake up in the morning
and find you there
because you with all your magic powers were
determined that
I should love you
because there was nothing for you but that
I would love you

I love you
because you made me
want to love you
more than I love my privacy
my freedom
my commitments
and responsibilities
I love you 'cause I changed my life
to love you
because you saw me one friday
afternoon and decided that I would
love you
I love you I love you I love you

-- Nikki Giovanni

A Calling: Practicing Reproductive Justice as a Doula

This weekend I had the privilege of attending a great conference on reproductive justice that refreshed passions and refueled interests I have always had. In trying to figure out where I fit and where I want to plug in with the reproductive justice movement, this weekend provided a wonderful "ah ha!" moment that I am grateful for.

While reproductive justice must be present in all periods of a women's reproductive life, I will be an advocate and ally for mothers that choose to give birth to babies. This is where I fit.

A couple of the workshops I went to over the weekend were about motherhood and childbirth - where great discussions took place regarding the lack of choice women have once they decide to give birth, particularly marginalized women (poor women, women of color, immigrant women, young women, disabled women, etc...). My action step: Well, I've decided to look in to doula (a childbirth companion) training so that I can work with mothers before, during and after childbirth to ensure that their rights and wishes are respected and that their experience with birth is as positive, informed and safe as possible.

For thousands of years, women have helped other women give birth. With the U.S. experiencing an increasing maternal mortality rate - particular amongst women of color - it is vital that pregnant mothers have an advocate and companion that knows childbirth and knows and fights to protect their rights as women.

My calling...or at least one of them.

"You're not the boss of me...oh, well...yes you are": On why we should pay attention to political campaigns

I work for an organization that works to get women to run for, and then get elected to public office. Why? Because equal representation is important in a democracy and we should be moving closer towards this goal all the time.

Right now there are quite a few outstanding women (and men) candidates in really tough races - races that will take the participation of their future constituents to win. But there's the rub: it's really effing hard to get everyday people interested in lower-level political races. While everyone turns out during the Presidential election year, it's tough as undercooked chuck to get folks' attention in the interim.

So, here's my argument as to why paying attention to who is running in your district (Senate, House, state legislative, etc...):

Wait, I don't even need bullet points for this because it's pretty damn simple.

THE PEOPLE THAT WE ELECT (via our vote, or our non-participation) GET TO MAKE DECISIONS ABOUT OUR LIVES.

When it's all said and done, you will be subject to these lawmakers' and law enforcers' conclusions, so we'd better make sure we fight the good fight to ensure that our voice is heard.

I know, I know. General election day is months away, but there are still some primarys to be won and none of the races are finished. Check out these candidates and then do something (give money, volunteer, learn more, spread the word, etc...):

Jennifer Brunner of Ohio for U.S. Senate

Robin Kelly of Illinois for State Treasurer

Kamala Harris of California for Attorney General

Terri Sewell of Alabama for U.S. Congress

What is Reproductive Justice? Hell if I know, but I'm working on it...

So, I'm kinda psyched about attending the Bi-Annual Reproductive Justice Conference at Hampshire College. Why? Well, duh. I have a MA in Women's, Gender & Sexuality Studies. Thus, reproductive justice is close to my heart. But reproductive justice should be close to all of our hearts. Again, why? Well, because it affects us all.

By nature of being human, we have the right to be autonomous--or as autonomous as possible without trespassing on another's autonomy. We have a right to make decisions for ourselves using our own God-given ability to make just and moral decisions. We certainly have this right when it comes to what we do and do not do to our own bodies. Part of being autonomous means that other people need not agree with us in order to exercise it. Quite the contrary: even when people do not agree with or understand what we do (which is certainly inevitable), we still have the right to do it.

While most people would agree with the above paragraph, some (although fortunately not the majority) have a problem only when applied to women-- or more particularly, to women's uteruses. Hence the Great Abortion Debate.

I'm refuse to spend tons of time discussing this topic (abortion) because, frankly, it's were rational people become irrational I don't see the point. The discourse is too loaded to have a proper discussion around abortion outside of a solid reproductive justice framework. So, what is reproductive justice? I'm currently working this out right now, for both professional and personal reasons, but here is my conceptualization so far:

1. Reproductive justice is intersectional--meaning that it approaches those issues surrounding reproduction from all angles and is able to imagine how needs and concerns vary with identity.

2. Reproductive justice is broad--along the lines of number one, it acknowledges and gives appropriate weight to all reproductive concerns, not just abortion. It means contraception and quality, accessible reproductive health care. It means maternal wellness and parent-friendly workplaces. It means choosing when and how to parent with dignity and it also means choosing not parent at all, without stigma. Etc... It is physical, environmental, economic, political, academic, social, spiritual, etc...

3. Reproductive justice is social justice--as opposed to being a "women's issue" the effects of reproductive injustice damage all people and it is the responsibility of all people to care about reproductive justice. Moreover, looking at the issue itself intersectionally, reproductive justice is tied to justice in general, both philosophically and practically.


Thoughts?

Little Dragon

Went to this show last week. Good show, good sounds...me thinks I like.