The Unloveable Self

I just assigned a friend the exercise of writing down three nice things about herself daily, before she does anything else. See, it is easy to love good things; it is easy to love those things that we can makes pros and cons lists of in which the pros blow the cons out of the water. It is easy to love things that are lovable. Thus, the assignment is one of creating a perception of self that is just this, lovable.

While I wouldn't argue with the idea that women generally have a tougher time with this than men, the Unloveable Self is not gender specific. It is about being human in a world that seems to require super-humanity. It is about a finite, yet fluid, set of standards about our minds, our bodies and our souls that makes living with ourselves a crusade against ourselves. It is about our perceptions of others - our comparisons - that make us unable to see ourselves for what we really are.

The Unlovable Self is positioned to be the scapegoat for why things don't go the way we want them to. It is because we are too dumb, too ugly, too fat, too needy that we haven't found what we are looking for. The Unlovable Self is dangerous because it is paralyzing. It kills our imaginations by setting those things in our life that we don't like in stone, making us unable to envision life any better. But the one thing we should be protecting is our imagination as it allows us to understand ourselves in the 'here and now' and see the potential for greatness there.

So, let's do ourselves a favor. Let's make ourself easier to love. Let's feed that imagination. Three nice things...

Here are mine for today:

1. I am a genuine and caring person

2. I am a keeper of my word

3. I look damn good in these jeans ;-)

..The Capricious Devotee..

4 Steps to Neurosis-Free Living....Ha!!!

I used to pride myself on not being neurotic, but newsflash - I can be neurotic. This is not a good look, I know. So I'm taking steps to remedy this situation.

Here they are, in no particular order:

1. Remembering that not everyone thinks/feels/exists in the ways that I do. Projecting myself onto other people will never be helpful

2. Allowing situations and/or relationships to be what they are..."It is what it is" - recite and repeat

3. Not letting my imagination get the best of me, even if it is only for the moment.

*Side Note: So, I have a wild imagination. I blame it on my love of fiction and my mother's hippie-esque position on cable television. Alas, I grew up on PBS, Little House on the Prairie and lots and lots of books. My imagination reflects this and I can sometimes get a little carried away. While this mental voyage through lala land is always short lived, in the moment it can seem like either the sky is falling or expanding to unreasonable heights. So maybe learning to check myself wouldn't be such a bad idea.

4. Write it before I speak it. Put it down in my journal, let it marinate for a while and the come back to it later...and usually I find I sound like a dumbass. This one's just simple self-preservation.

Anything else?

..The Capricious Devotee..