Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Balance

I need to get better at making time to write, even when I don't actually have enough hours in the day. I get frustrated when I don't write - the mind get's backed up. As my schedule's changed the last couple of weeks I'm working on balancing my life as-is. I realize that I can't plan for what its going to look like two months down the road, but I do have the here and now to make the most of.

So, as I'm thinking about balancing in the present I am also thinking about balance in regard to the big picture...

While I do consider myself ambitious - I'm a go-getter, really, I am - what is most important for me in the end is finding a successful balance. Even as I look forward to accomplishing a lot professionally, my measure of success will be how aptly I am able to strike a balance between those things I love. I refuse to be consumed with one realm to the collapse (or neglect) of others. Really, how fulfilled am I going to be with a killer CV if I've failed as a mother and/or have no one to come home to in the evening and/or haven't taken care of my body and have a declining quality of life and/or haven't indulged my creative whims and/or haven't taken time to cultivate authentic relationships?

Makes sense to me, but it's been my observations that many women equate the process of finding balance or taking time out for themselves to trivial "pampering" rituals that are substantively empty. Yes, shopping and pedicures are nice (and necessary), but they cannot replace time taken out for self-exploration/evaluation. Without time with one's owns thoughts and an investment in those things that our thoughts deem important, we will remain out of touch with what out balance really looks like. Hmm....

So these are just my thoughts on the matter..on balance, that is. What does this mean for me now? Well, for starters I need to make time to get into my own head. Without regular check-ins it's like wading through a murky sludge of un-triaged thought. It's tough. I will be better.

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