Just Say "No" to Friending...

I am not Facebook friends with the guy I've been dating for the last 3.5 months. I like it this way, for many reasons. Earlier today we briefly discussed, in passing, the possibility of us becoming Facebook friends...but the more I think about this, the less keen I am on it. After further reflection, I'd argue that refraining from "friending" a potential is probably one of the most savvy and radical things a dater can do here in the year 2010. Here's my argument against it:

1. A relationship that exists entirely in real-time.

I am getting to know him face-to-face and everything I am learning, I am doing so through our conversations/interactions...not Wall hearsay or tagged photos from the 11th grade. If I am curious about his favorite book, movie or quote, I have to actually ask him. This can sometimes be inconvenient, but delayed gratification builds character.

2. Facebook stalking becomes intensely difficult, if not impossible.

**I'm not necessarily saying I would ever think to do this...(cough)**

I don't need to know his every cyber-move, know which events he has RSVPd for, or view his tagged pictures from evenings out not spent together. These things are none of either of our business until they actually are (which is till TBA).

3. The whole Facebook "Relationship Status" controversy and/or awkwardness stays irrelevant.

Whoever thought of this feature apparently did not think it all the way through. Relationship status changes make for seriously uncomfortable breakups and mawkish public displays of cyber affection that we could all live without.

4.***Okay, I'll admit to this one too: So, I'm a bit of a Facebook whore.

It could be a little embarrassing for him to find out how often I update my status...I mean, I don't really care all that much. But still.

What's your take?

Facebook, Virtual Aggression & An Awkward Moment

"did u get rid of your facebook or just delete me as a friend?"

Awkward...

I got this text last night from someone that who had acted a little shady with me...so, yes I had deleted them as a friend. This is what I do when you irritate me or otherwise transition to my "not-so-good side." You will get deleted from my facebook friends' list, my cellphone address book, my gmail chat list and sometimes, I will even stop following you on twitter.

However, really..."it's not you, it's me." I find deletion cathartic. I'm not a person that cusses others out or that is comfortable acting actively aggressive and I usually try to keep passive aggression under wraps, but modern social-networking technology makes it oh-so easy to satisfy one's spite...virtually.

By deleting you as a friend I am cutting you off and I don't really care if you realize I've done it or not. It is a mechanism by which I signal to myself that I am done. However, I'll admit that done doesn't always mean 'done', done...rather it means I have relinquished the ball and put it the other's court. If they amends, okay. If they don't, that's okay too.

So they made amends and asked nicely and they were re-added (why this was important to them, I don't know), but it's probationary...